Home they say is where the heart is. And as I’ve grown older I’ve come to realize that it isn’t just the buildings we grew up in. It’s the people that make the stay worth while. You know, the old lady that sells fried yam down the road, the vigilante bells you always hear by 12 a.m., your meat guy that shouts “customer!!” but never remembers your name.
Home is the people, the gestures, the sounds and other things we may not have paid attention to. Not until we notice when they’re not there anymore. Sometimes, we take these things for granted, other times we don’t but just have a hard time adjusting in places we can’t find these things. You move to a town where no one speaks your language, or you have to chase down a bus or you have to stay so ‘woke’ you’re cranky all the time. (Sound familiar Lagosians? lol< just kidding>)
The truth though, I think there’s a way to find a balance in places like this. There’s a way around the hassles that make us want to want to run back. A way to build a home away from home. Below are four solid and simple but very valid things I’ve learned from personal experiences and from interacting with other people too.
What to do
It is usually so easy for us to rush in and out of places. Either misjudging said places or not taking time to explore them at all. This again I think is because certain cities or towns appeal to certain people. I’m truly not trying to get overly poetic about it but I think we don’t actually consider this most times. However because of the opportunities in certain places or for security reasons we are inclined to drift towards them. Either way no matter where we find ourselves, there are a few things to do to consider in order to make us comfortable with our decisions.
One of the key things about moving is to consider the place you’re moving to. Sometimes though, we don’t have control over that. It’s either a work posting, youth service, school or some other reason. Reasons solid enough to make us accept to move. It doesn’t always have to be a drag though. You can take out time, over the weekends maybe and check out things that would interest you and keep you occupied. You can also talk to people, ask questions about your new environment and keep an open mind. You might just discover something you really like or know certain places or things to avoid.
Don’t runaway just yet
As tempting as it might be to take off after the first night or week, just give it a little time. Living in a certain place for a long time and then switching can be draining. Physically, mentally and emotionally to be very honest. Other times you actually come with a burst of energy and a healthy enthusiasm but then it’s a bit of a downer after a few days. Give yourself time to actually experience the place, your environment, the culture and the people. Find something or people you can relate to and connect with. It’s ok to observe first and when you feel comfortable don’t hesitate to take part in things that help you feel useful and involved. Being a part of something goes a long way to keeping you grounded.
Don’t get lost in yourself
So I know this is a new city or a town and you don’t want any ‘wahala’. There is absolutely nothing wrong in taking out time to be present, in touch with your emotions and energy. If however these feelings border on the negative don’t hesitate to speak to family and friends that can help out and cheer you up. No one is ever too old to be homesick. Don’t think you’re being a bother and end up depressed. Yes, that can happen. We are not too Nigerian to experience it. Depression is very real.
If you’re at a place where you’re good physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, it would be a great thing to share with others.
Don’t be afraid to start over
There’s a saying , “Change is the only constant in life”. As much as we wish we could control certain things, it’s never in our power. At a particular time, that move might have been a very wise and solid decision at the time. We however can’t control how things would turn out, some places might not actually work out for you and you might want to leave. If you are sure about it then find somewhere else. “What will people say?”, “I’m a failure.”, “I give up”. Don’t ever allow these negative thoughts keep you down. Take out time and make a plan, if you have to go back home to restrategize don’t ever be ashamed. Just be bold enough to take another chance when life hands you one…
“If we were meant to stay in one place, we’d have roots instead of feet…”
This post might seem rather unconventional but just because we find things like this easy to deal with doesn’t mean everyone knows what to do in times like these…
How do you deal with moving? Drop a comment below and let us know.
Remember if you have your mind made up on a destination call us today on 08189416000 or log on to http://bookingsnigeria.com and let us handle it for you. 😀